The Wedding Planner-Her big day is his big problem

I want blacks and I want gold

I want a drunken audience

Of penitent Misogynists who are 37 years old

I want chrome lighting and wispy lace tablecloth

Love to loom between my maids and the groomsmen

Like naked flame and a moth

I want Clapton to allure me to my first dance

I want gluttonous orgasms in the dining halls.

I want it all, a fairytale and a romance

I want hook ups to brew in the washroom stalls

I want people to make merry

And tell me they are having a good time

I want the alcohol to overflow

All of whiskey and vodka with a splinter of lime

I want my father to smile when teary eyed

Smart in a tuxedo with a glass in one hand

Telling his friends how much he loves this bride

My maid of honor she is the one, incontestably.

Stood by me through the thick and thin of my garter

We would have spent hours picking the centerpieces

Threatening the tailor and his sartor.

I do not know yet if it is the marriage that I seek

Not even the companion or soul mate as much

It is my friend, the wedding that enchants me

Call me an idiot or even an unassuming freak